Confidence in Uncertainty
We look for certainty in life. We want to believe that if we do our best, try hard enough and get it right, everything will go as planned. But life is not like that and we do know this even if we pretend to believe otherwise. The unexpected, the surprising, the unintended, the unimaginable can and does happen.
In a life that is uncertain nothing can be taken for granted. What is important to me is that I try to do my best no matter what the outcome is. I engage and dedicate myself as fully as I can to what is now. What is important to me is, who and how I am now, my connection to me now and to That, which I believe is my divine origin. For me, this connection to Divinity and to myself in the Now, is the only certainty I have. This is where Peace resides.
At the moment, I am fully engaged in writing these few words. I do my best to communicate with good intention. I do my best to dedicate myself in the best possible way for the best possible happening. But the fruits of my actions are not up to me and I give myself away in surrender to this fact. Who can know, who will read what I have written or how you will read my words or intentions and feel about them. I have no control over how anyone will react to what I am writing here and whether there is an empathetic connection between us or not. Whether indeed, my words plant seeds or weeds or anything tangible. All I know is that my intention is good and is as honest as possible. From this perspective, outcomes almost do not matter. What is important is integrity in the present moment.
I know that I can surrender to, but will never completely understand the magnificent interplay of the Divine. Nor do I want to even try to interfere with what I call the God Variable. How can I? And if I try to, it surely means there is no trust. Where there is doubt, there is unease. There is no confidence. How can I be confident without trust, when the God variable makes even the most rational plans unfold in a totally different way without warning?
The God variable is always present, like a Divine dice ready and waiting to be thrown into a loaded roulette wheel, to make the outcome as It wills it to be. I understand The God variable as something so magnificent and perfect that my small mind cannot begin to understand it. The God variable does not always seem to be fair. It rarely work things out as my small self would like things to be. But if I trust, there is no unease. Instead, present in my acceptance is amazing wonderment at the interplay of Divine energy.
And when I act from my own connected Truth and not as a puppet of others projected energetic ideas of me and the world, I believe that I am free to be an expression of the God variable Itself and I too am a magnificent manifestation of the unimaginable, the wondrous, the unexpected, the bewildering, the out of the blue divine surprise.
Every religion teaches surrender. In our uncertain world the need to consciously surrender is a surety towards peace of mind. Every spiritual Path requests us to surrender because in truth we have no choice. How can we? We are already cornered in a place of submission. But conscious surrender allows us to accept That which is Divine Will and claim peace regardless of how the expression of what we call God is working through Creation.
In this, I believe that we have the immensity of choice to accept, to bow down, to remain connected with the grace of the awareness of Now no matter what is happening. To be able to move beyond the limitations of our small minds and their small needs. To be able to have gratitude. How great is gratitude and how limitless is its power. To honour, to respect, to be devoted to, to transform… To BE.
I believe that everything I experience, that my very life, is part of an immense interdependent matrix of Divine expression where, in the bigger picture, everything is totally perfect. That, my birth, my death and all the details contained within these two great events, is already seeded to happen and out with my control.
I do not know how the script unfolds. In this moment, I can only choose to be as awake as I can possibly be in the now and experience everything as positively as possible. I can also choose to have confidence in the great expansive understanding beyond my mind, that everyone, everything and myself is just at it should be. I am confident that Divine Will and Intelligence knows best. I am confidant that I too am an integral part of God and Gods Divine quest.
In this, living with incertitude actually feels wonderfully good. It is exciting. I feel confident in the great unknown. And I feel free…
